I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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