put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
