Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
