This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
MIDGETS
????
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
