You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
