I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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