I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
