it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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