why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Its about making memories worth repressing
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
jump out the window naked night went bad
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
