:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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