seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
