one two three fourrrrnication!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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