you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
