Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
