You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
