weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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