11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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