who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
