All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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