I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize