Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
