I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
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get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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