i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize