He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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