Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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