Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
