lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
