Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
