Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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