i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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