Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
