Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
