remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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