we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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