Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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