I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
