the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
