you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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