were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
jump out the window naked night went bad
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
