You don't have asthma, your pregnant
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
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