We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
