idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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