I wish I could punch you in the face.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
