Pappa wants mamma naked
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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