he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
