he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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