i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
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I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I did not marry a roomba.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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