he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Are my feet made of real feet?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
