it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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