How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
