i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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