why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
even my farts smell like vagina
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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