thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
