epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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