Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
