I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize