dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
