I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?