is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done