i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
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Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.