So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable