Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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