It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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