i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
